“The Passing of Loved Ones and Friends” - by Hans Christian King Spiritual Show Transcription

“The Passing of Loved Ones and Friends” - by Hans Christian King 

Spiritual Radio Show Transcription

GUIDANCE FOR YOUR LIFE Radio Show

with Hans Christian King www.HansKing.com

and Alfred Ricci www.AlfredRicci.com

Topic: The Passing of Loved Ones and Friends
December 5, 2015



HANS:
Folks this is a time of the year when both Alfred and I begin to notice a lot of people in our classes, a lot of people in our social life are losing loved ones. So many people have lost people during the holiday seasons, people who may have been here last year or two years ago, five years ago, but they’re not here in the human form this year.

How do you handle that? Well, it’s really hard because what we have is what I call “the absence of the presence.”

We know that that soul is beautiful, they’re happy, they’re young, they look great—but for us, we have the memory of the person being in our life for twenty, thirty, forty years, and suddenly one day, you can’t call them. They’re not coming for Thanksgiving dinner, they’re not coming for Christmas. How do you handle that?

I think one of the most important things is to remember our greatest fear, our greatest concern, is that we fear that person’s identity, the consciousness of that individual, may no longer be there. Because if you can’t talk to them and have a dialogue on the phone or in person, gee, I wonder if they’re really there or have they moved on? I hear this a lot from people, “Have my loved ones moved on?”

ALFRED:
And what Hans is trying to say, is that we take it for granted.  They’re on the other side, happy, they’re continuing their life, they’re meeting with their friends on the other side, they get to pick whatever appearance, usually a younger appearance, they’re more vibrant, and for us it’s a common way to look at someone on the other side.

HANS:
The truth of the matter is, always remember this my friends, this is the illusion. This life that you, and Alfred and I, this is the illusion. Spirit is the reality. For instance, when I go off to school, when I’m young that takes up a big chunk of my life everyday. Is the school, in fact, my reality? No. Home is your reality. The school is something you agreed to participate in, so it’s an illusional type of thing. In other words, it’s a choice that we make.

ALFRED:
So what we’re trying to do is help you understand that the easiest, simple way to deal with someone’s passing is to realize there is no question whether their consciousness continued, there is no question whether they are happy. Basically, you can take for granted they’re in bliss, joy, they’re happy.

HANS:
They’re glad to be out of here. Not glad to leave their loved ones, but glad to be out of the heaviness. The energy is very heavy when we’re on this side, and so having an ability to be lighter and have the same consciousness is a big difference.

ALFRED:
That, and also to realize that just because they’ve passed to the other side, also take it for granted that they are around you, waiting for you to ask them for help.

HANS:
You know, Alfred, one of the biggest questions that I get is, “Can they hear me?” In other words, the identity of the individual, can that still hear me the same way that it heard me on this side on the phone or in person. The answer is absolutely. In fact, it’s even magnified.

So, one of the things that we teach in our classes is always remember to ask your loved ones for things, always remember to include them. I include my Dad in my driving, even if I’m just going down to the market, I include him in that. Bring those on the other side back into your life, so you still have them in your heart.

ALFRED:
Take it for granted that they continued, they’re in a better space, that they hear you, they are around you, and take it for granted that you can do fun things. It doesn’t have to be serious always, you can go shopping, go for a beer, go for a walk, go for a drive, whatever that person liked to do on this side with you, you can pretty much take it for granted that they still would like to do it.

HANS:
Alfred was teaching a class and so I said to my Dad, “Come on, let’s go to a movie.” I could feel his presence sitting right beside me, I could feel him. So what I want to say to you is, for those of you who have lost someone to the spirit world, the holidays always bring up a sense of a little pain, a little sadness. For some of you maybe you’ve lost both of your parents, maybe you’ve even lost a brother or sister, or even worse, a child. Know that those people are no more than a thought away from you. The only thing that distances you from them is your own thought form.

ALFRED:
Doubt.

HANS:
A big one. Huge. Doubt really separates.

ALFRED:
So have no doubt that they survived. Have no doubt that they’re around you. Have no doubt that you can still interact with them.

HANS:
Yes. Absolutely. And you know, Alfred, so many people believe—but when it comes to issues of the loss of a person, their belief gets really tested, because they think—“I know it works for other people but are my people really still around me?” And one of the things that we ask you to do is, give them things to do. We use the parking space, the parking fairy, and give them things to do. Please help my son, he’s trying to get into this university; just implore them to come on in. I used to tell people to set a place at the table for them, for the one that you lost that you are mourning. Set it because they are there. They are there.

ALFRED:
Okay, on to our next topic, which is how do you deal with relatives, friends who are preparing to pass?

HANS:
Now there’s a tough one. Both Alfred and I have noticed that we have many clients that are emailing us and booking appointments because they are losing someone. We have friends who are in hospice, and we’re visiting friends in hospice and how do you deal with that? Those that are getting ready to transcend, to make that transition back to the spirit world are in a completely different space than you and I. They’re in a space of finality. They know that they’re leaving the body. You know they’re leaving the body. What is the dialogue that go back and forth? 

I spent yesterday helping a dear lady friend of ours who is making her transition and she was asking what the process was. How did it work? You can really help people by letting them know the most important thing they want to know: is will their consciousness survive? This has been a big one for me for fifty years. Does their consciousness survive? The answer is yes. If you can reassure them that their consciousness survives, then it makes the entire process for them less of an ending. It just doesn’t end. Oh, I’m just transferring to a new car. I’m just going to another house; which is actually the truth. So helping people to understand in this transition that this is not a time about you, it’s about them, and being there for them.

Alfred, I have a lady who is losing her little dog of eighteen years right now and it’s all she has. And she’s only sixty years old. She says, how do I handle this? You tell that little one whenever he wants to come back you’ll be available, because most times you’ll get the little pets you lost back again.

For those of you who are helping a loved one to the other side, reassure them again that their consciousness continues. You’ll be able to dialogue with them. You can make arrangements to have certain things happen. I had a lady who said she told her father when he died, “Tilt all my pictures to the right, if you can.” About a month later all the pictures in the house were tilted to the right.

ALFRED:
And that’s the joke I’ve been doing with people. When my nana passed, she was very upset that she didn’t get to do certain things, and you can say quite simply, well when you decide to come back from the other side you can decide to do those things you wanted to do. 

I like the way Hans was describing it. If you have your favorite coat, and after a long time it’s worn out, it has some holes, what do you do? You wear it once in awhile, but then you decide okay, I’m going to get a new coat. That’s it. If your coat is worn out, quite simply you just decide to get a new one. And that’s basically it. When I’ve been dealing with people who are making their transition, I try to make it optimistic.

HANS:
That’s a good idea. Alfred has often visited a dear friend of his who is not doing well, and he was watching what I did yesterday, and the coat statement is really very important. People really hear that. So you might say to someone—you wouldn’t wear the same coat for your entire life would you? Because it would be ragged and torn.

Helping people to understand, number one, that their consciousness survives. Number two, you’ll see that they’re not going anywhere you’re not. I like that statement. When I give that statement to people, I said to my friend yesterday, you’re not going anywhere I’m not. I’ll see you again and give you a hug again, and we’ll look about and talk and try to get caught up on everybody we know. So we’re all headed in the same direction; we just are all in different cars.

So if you have someone whose getting ready to make their transition, be there for them. Most important thing: listen to them. Listen. They need someone to hear them. Please, if you have a situation like this, go to the prayer requests, and we’ll get that person on the prayer list and add all the positive energy, love and light that we can.

No one is going to take away your grief from losing your friend, your lover, your family member, no one can take that away. What you can do is make it easier on you and on them, by talking about the rejoining with each other when you make your transition. Okay?

And that will conclude the lesson for today.

“Holiday Peacefulness” - by Hans Christian King Spiritual Radio Show Transcription GUIDANCE FOR YOUR LIFE Radio Show

“Holiday Peacefulness” - by Hans Christian King 

Spiritual Radio Show Transcription

GUIDANCE FOR YOUR LIFE Radio Show

with Hans Christian King www.HansKing.com

and Alfred Ricci www.AlfredRicci.com

Topic: Holiday Peacefulness

December 28, 2014

Hans:

Hello everyone. Today's topic is "Holiday Peacefulness." One of the things that I recommend that people do is remember the excess mind chatter on this particular subject. And so before you go into an event where the people are present, you need to be very still. Sit down, be very still. And say: I choose this day not to listen to my mind chatter. I choose this day to no longer be wounded, to be hurt by past memories with this family. I choose to take today and turn my life around by accepting them just as they are. Not reacting to anything that is said, just blessing them. You don't have to say that out loud. But you don't have to respond to anything that's said either. You can always say: I choose to be peaceful. It will make them crazy. But it's very contagious actually, Alfred.

Alfred:

Okay. So Hans can you tell people how to let go of the need to fix family members? We really love our family, we want them to be as happy as we are, but what are the ways we could just let the family members be?

Hans:

What if you found out guys, all of you, what if you found out that there wasn't anything wrong? What if you found out it was your perception that was making the other person wrong? The other person doesn't think they're wrong. You do. So what if you just loved them and accept them? You may not agree with their behavior, my friends. But having no judgment is offering love, basically. So if you just love your family, with no judgment, don't try to fix anyone. Be that light you want to see in the world. Be that change you want to see in your family. And you'll be amazed when people say: You don't seem to be angry anymore. Say: No, I'm not. And they will say: Well how did you do that? I found love in my heart for everyone. And that's hard to do, my friends, because we have so many memories of who did what to who and when and who can sit next to who and who shouldn't be invited... All that stuff is humanness. All that stuff, all the anger is all humanness. That's the absence of God in your thinking. That's the absence of Spirit in your actions. Because the truth of the matter is none of them are wrong. It's your perception of what went on that caused you to have a judgment. But what you can't do is sit inside of them and listen to what they say about you and that they think you have a judgment. So by simply putting love in the place of judgment, and acceptance in the place of anger, all of the pain begins to dissipate. 

I had a dear lady client that I had known for over 25 years and she hadn't been home to see her family in 20. And she had all of these reasons about what her brother and sister did to her, what her father and mother did to her, and she had magnified this so out of true proportions that she never went back to the family and every year she didn't go back she reminded herself of why she wasn't going and she built it and she built it and she built it. And Spirit said to her: This year you're going back. We request that you go back with no judgment and only love in your heart. She said: They'll tear me to shreds. And Guidance said to her: No, only you can do that. They will not tear you to shreds. She went and she called me before she got on the plane in San Francisco, she was going to New Jersey, she called me, she said: I'll never make this. And I said: Go. She went. And she said before she went into the room she did the exercise that we gave her and she said when she went in people ran up to her and hugged her. Her mother cried, her father cried, brother and sister cried, they loved on her. We have missed you so. Where have you been? What did we do that ever made you so upset? She said: I never would have believed it. Even when Hans, you told me, I couldn't bring myself to believe it. I had caused all of the pain in my own heart. Folks, when you go to be with friends and people that you think there's a problem with, put love in your heart, put Spirit in your actions, you'll be amazed at what happens.

Alfred:

And this is what we want to get to is all of these inner peace practices. Start them during the holidays - non-judgment, letting go of the past, being an example of your beliefs, going within. All of these things we've been talking about, start them during the holidays but apply them to everybody. And that's really difficult. But if you can do them with your family...

Hans:

You can do it with anybody.

Alfred:

...you can do it with anybody. That's the point. Don't just do non-judgment, letting go of your past during the holidays. Let's talk about doing this...

Hans:

Let this be the platform for the rest of your life.

Alfred:

Exactly, for the rest of the year...

Hans:

Or for the rest of your life.

Alfred:

This is the way to give yourself the greatest gift possible – inner joy, happiness and peace, all year round. What do you think about that Hans?

Hans:

I think it's perfect because it's true. And what I'm trying to teach you tonight is our perceptions become oftentimes our worst enemies. Our perceptions become anger, fear, doubt, judgment. Our perceptions are nothing more than a filter that we have put in front of us so that we don't get hurt and we view through that. I remember, if all of you remember, the movie "Auntie Mame," for instance, with Rosalind Russell. What a fun, wonderful Christmas movie. In fact I'm going to watch it tomorrow as I do every holiday. But they decided to make it into a movie and for reasons unknown to anyone, they decided not to use Rosalind Russell but they decided to use Lucy. Now an incredible actress of her own and there's no doubt whatsoever. But she insisted, absolutely insisted, that they shoot her through gauze. And it was fuzzy and cloudy and my dear friend Hal King was the make-up artist for her for over 25 years. And he said they made it almost impossible to almost see her. That's what her perception said she wasn't good enough the way she was. She wasn't perfect. So she needed to shoot that through the gauze. 

What I'm saying to you is you do not need any filter between you and love. You already are love. You are already the best you will ever be for God. For those of you who are alone this year, and there are millions of you, this is an opportunity to remind yourself that in fact you are not alone. In fact, your God doesn't love anyone more than you as you hear me say each week. Find something to do that makes you smile. Back in the day Alfred used to say: Go find a flower and just look at it. There's such beauty in the flower. It doesn't have to demonstrate who it is, it radiates who it is. And if you're alone, it's a terrible word, I don't like that word, but if you're not with someone or a group, a family, that's the opportunity of a lifetime that a lot of spiritual people miss. The value of being by yourself during major events in your life so that you can look in that mirror. You know I used to give workshops about 25 years ago, and I would hand everybody who came to the workshop a mirror. And one of the exercises was I want you to look in this mirror and then tell me who you see. Do you know that most people, my dear friends, could not do it. And that was our opening round, that really scared them. Most people could not tell me who they saw in that mirror until one little old lady in one class said it all. Every bit of 80, and she had followed me for many, many years, and she looked in the mirror, she held it up to her face on the side, and she says: Hans, I see love. And I said: Margaret, that's the answer. I see love. Folks, when you go to that mirror before you go anywhere, or present yourself for an interview for a job, before you go home to the family that's all screaming and hollering at each other, go look in the mirror and present yourself Love. That is who you are. It doesn't matter what anybody else sees or anybody else thinks. So, in the moment, when you have it, Alfred likes to refer to it as a dysfunctional organization - your family, find the joy and the humor in who they are and the love in who you are by loving them anyway. Okay?

Alfred:

And Lord knows if you can learn to be just pure love around your family, which the majority of old souls have "interesting" families, if you can do that, then you can be love with anyone.

Hans:

Something in that wonderful thing that was written by Anonymous - somewhere in there he or she writes "If you can keep your head when everything and everyone else around you is losing theirs... " And I thought, yeah. If you can do that, you just found your peace. And folks, when you find your love, you find your peace. 

Alfred:

So the holidays are just a wonderful opportunity to...

Hans:

All around, yes.

Alfred:

... practice love, practice patience, unconditional love, non-judgment – the basics. To practice them with your family...

Hans:

Yes.

Alfred:

... and then continue to practice them for the rest of the year. That's what we're telling you is the way inner peace and happiness.

Hans:

Alfred, you brought something up a little bit ago that I think is really important for everybody to hear and then I came in and sort of expounded on it a little. Folks, what we're teaching you today should not be a once a year occurrence. It should be "always." Starting with I am this and I will be this and this is how I'm going to operate out for the rest of this year and the rest of my life. So use the catalyst of the holidays perhaps to broaden your understanding a little here and then carry that throughout the year and throughout your life. I want to take this opportunity to say to everyone, look forward to this New Year. Be ever so grateful of the one you just had. For many of you many prayers that you had prayed for, did come true. For many of you, some of your worst fears came true. However, remember now that it's done. That was then, this is now. And make a promise to yourself to discover more of who you are. Learn to spend a little more time with yourself. Learn to be less judgmental, especially towards people who don't live up to decent expectations that you have, like friendship and warmth and love. Have no judgment of them because you don't know who they actually are. Even though they could be your sister, your brother, your mother, your father, you don't know inside of them who they really are. Bless them. Ask Spirit to bring them everything they need to discover who they are and to make their life of value. Okay, Alfred I think that will conclude the topic for today.

For more information, you may like:
You Are Enough Audio Series
Stop Searching and Start Living Audio Series

“Family and Friends During the Holidays – Handling Differences” - by Hans Christian King Spiritual Radio Show Transcription GUIDANCE FOR YOUR LIFE Radio Show

“Family and Friends During the Holidays – Handling Differences” 

- by Hans Christian King 

Spiritual Radio Show Transcription

GUIDANCE FOR YOUR LIFE Radio Show

with Hans Christian King www.HansKing.com

and Alfred Ricci www.AlfredRicci.com

Topic: Family and Friends During the Holidays – Handling Differences

December 22, 2014

Hans:

So our topic for today "Family and Friends During the Holidays." How do we handle those differences? First of all, you don't point out how wrong they are. Remember, they're entitled to be where they are, and they're entitled to have their opinions. And it's not our job, it's not your job, folks, to try to change them. Mahatma Gandhi once said: Be the change you want to see in the world. So that's what's important. Do not debate your truth. Do not try to convince anybody of your truth. If someone were to say to you: How did you get where you are? How did you become so peaceful? That's another matter. Explain it as best you can without coming from a place that says I am correct and you are wrong. Explain who you are and how you arrived at your peace, and it's from that place that they have an opportunity to grow. Not by lecturing them. Now, if somebody is ragging on you and saying:  You know what are you talking about? You don't know what you're talking about. You know here's the right way and all that... Remember what I've taught you all these years. Well, what do we say: Not my problem. That's they key. And trying to say: Not my problem, without having some guilt attached to it. Right, Alfred?

Alfred:

Yes, because they are family and that's the real issue is how can we spiritual speakers talk to them? Be there for family members, listen to our brothers and sisters, our parent's point of view, and still love them knowing they are on a different path than what we're at. And one of the most basic, fundamental, life-changing lessons is "have no opinion"...

Hans:

Yes.

Alfred:

...have no judgment.

Hans:

In other words, Alfred, I think what we're both trying to say is: Don't make them wrong. Let them have their own belief system. Do not argue your point. Say: Well, I love you and bless you where you are. This will drive them crazy for one thing. But it's very important that you're only there folks to help someone who asks to be helped. That's all. But you're going to have people out there in your family and in your daily life, your friends for instance, who basically are angry, who basically don't understand your point of view, or may be a little jealous of your position, or just who don't get you or just can't see you... and that could be a mother and a father or a brother.. could be a best friend sometimes. But remember something, they're entitled to their opinion and it is not our job to change anyone. Let your light shine that others might see you and where you are and there will be people who would like to be part of that light. But getting confrontational, arguing with people, trying to help, wanting them to see your point of view – that is not your problem. That is their problem. Okay? Alfred, you can remember back when during the holidays, there were family gatherings. Remember some of the dysfunction during those times?

Alfred:

Oh, I'm sure there's so many people out there who remember, or still are going through, who can show up, who's not allowed to show up, and for those people who are showing up, who can sit next to who, who can sit across from who, who has to be separated from who, and actually having a serious discussion about that.

Hans:

Yes.

Alfred:

Yes.

Hans:

You know Alfred, when you first told me that, I have to tell you, I've never had that experience. I was absolutely shocked that your family couldn't let so-and-so sit across from so-and-so and they couldn't invite so-and-so or so-and-so wouldn't come. I was absolutely amazed. And I still am to this day that that is how people would treat this holiday.

Alfred:

But I think a lot of our listeners want to hear about how do you relate to relatives and friends that say and act in ways that are simply not truth - spiritual truth? How do you get along. Especially during the Holidays?

Hans:

Then basically you don't discuss it. If they wish to push you and they want to be confrontational, your job is to say: I love you and I respect your opinion. That's it. Do not engage them in the conversation, because they are looking to pick a fight. They want their point of view to triumph. And the only way it can is if you agree to it. And if there's no place in you to agree to it, they will give up. Alfred, you have a wonderful statement that you say to people sometimes: I love you anyway.

Alfred:

Yes...

Hans:

There's a lot of power in that statement.

Alfred:

...and that's the thing to do is to just be love, Is just to be caring, is just to be helpful, is just to be there and be helpful, be caring, be loving, be as Hans was saying, inside yourself, be that example. But just not discuss this stuff. You show the example and be the example of what you believe. As much as possible, love everyone, care about everyone, try not to have an opinion. Just smile, just be peaceful regardless of what's going on, who's arguing about what, who's talking about who, your job is to stay peaceful.

Hans:

You just brought up one very important thing, Alfred. People will try to engage you about other people. You, yourself know this in your own family. And they will try to engage you - do you hear what so-and-so did? Can you believe that so-and-so did this or said this about some... Do not engage in gossip about others, children. Because what they will say about others, they will say about you. Back away from it and always say to Spirit: Please bless them. Help them to find their way. Help them to find their light that is best for them. That's what I do folks. And folks I have wonderful clients out there, and you know who you are, who have terrible relationships with a family member. Sometimes that family member has the appearance they're trying to hurt you, trying to take something away from you. Many times because a parent or parents have died, there's an estate and oh my God, nothing tears a family up more than an estate and the rivalry that goes on. Even though you may be the most loving, caring, kind person, there may be somebody in your family who feels it's necessary to attack you and hurt you. That usually comes from a very sad and jealous place inside of themselves. But meanwhile, the appearance is they have the power to really hurt you emotionally. Always remember, no matter how hard it may be in that moment to say to Spirit: Bless that person, help them please, show them where they need to be, and let  the light shine on the subject we are engaged with, that we are involved with. Add the power of the light to it. Sometimes you don't see results right away. But over time, Spirit will bring the light, for sure. Remember light always follows darkness...always, okay? So use this as a time to rejoice the power within you and let the light of the God-force, the light of Spirit to shine upon you. So this is an important time to learn to be peaceful in the appearance of craziness, in the appearance of dysfunction. You know this, right Alfred?

Alfred:

Yes, is not to believe what is going around, not to believe what other people say, not to fall into the trap of getting sucked into "drama." What someone supposedly did, what someone supposedly said, your job as a spiritual soul, is to be "peaceful," is not to have anything that's going on around you knock you off your center. Again one of the most basic teachings we've been going over, especially on this show, is what someone else says or does is not your problem.

Hans:

Is not your problem ever...

Alfred:

...it's if what someone else says or does, does knock you off your center, that is your problem.

Hans:

Absolutely Alfred, that's correct. What someone thinks about you is none of your business, but what you think of what they think of you should be very much your concern.

Alfred:

Or anyone... or your cousin, or your parents, or your uncles, or your aunts or your friends...

Hans:

Yes, it doesn't matter who it is. Exactly...

Alfred:

...whatever anybody says or does...

Hans:

...has nothing to do with you.

Alfred:

...about anybody else. It doesn't even have to do with you, it could be your brother's in a fight with an uncle, it's your mother says something about your cousin...

Hans:

Exactly. You know Alfred, a while back I was talking to a dear lady and she said to me: You know Hans, my mother said this and that about me and only the other day she said: Well, I was right, you're never going to amount to anything. And she said: This has wounded me so badly. And I said: Why? She said: Because of what she said. I said: But what she said has nothing to do with you. She said: Well, certainly, it was directed at me. I said: No, it wasn't. This was not a statement of who you are, angel. This is a statement of where she's at. No, they're two different things. Separate yourself from somebody's else's rage, separate yourself from somebody else's anger or opinion. It has nothing children, listen again, this has nothing to do with who you are. And there are times when it appears that God doesn't see us, God doesn't hear us, the Spirit has abandoned us when these people run amok and start hurting us. But therein is the lesson that you chose to learn. That lesson was to learn to rise above the appearance of the difficulty of the sadness. To be better than to be identified with that sort of behavior. Because again, as Alfred and I are pointing out to you, it has utterly nothing to do with you.

Alfred:

And notice what we're talking about here. Is we're talking about very basic spiritual principles. What we're saying is: Treat your family, treat your friends like the way you treat anybody else.

Hans:

Yes.

Alfred:

The issue that we've seen year after year after year is people think well, they're family, these spiritual principles don't apply to them. Of course they're going to love me. Of course they're going to care. I don't understand why they're being mean. And that's where you get yourself in trouble...

Hans:

That's exactly true. You get yourself in trouble.

Alfred:

...is you apply these basic principles to your family and friends just like you do to  anybody else.

Hans:

You want to talk at this normal level. You want to be involved with them at the new level you've found. But they can't hear you, folks. They can't see who you are. So don't try. If somebody comes out from the shadows and said: I don't exactly know what you're talking about, but it feels good in my heart. Would you mind explaining a little to me? Absolutely, go for it. You can help anybody who asked to be helped. But if somebody has a judgment and then says: Help me. Don't bother with them. Don't bother with them folks, move on. Let your light shine. Let your light show you the way. Because there is no relationship on earth that is more precious to you than you to you. That's the gift that God gave you. Because inside of each and every one of you lies the power of the God-force, lies the power of the Spirit – you are connected at that level – always. And the only thing that can bring you down is your own consciousness. That's all. 

Alfred:

And one point I'd like to tell everyone... Well, what is that confusion, what is the feeling when you get confused to say: Well, they're my family. Of course they're supposed to love me. Of course they're supposed to support me. Of course they're supposed to be generous and loving and kind. And what happens to you in that internal conflict when they're not? What is going on here when you say: I don't understand this. They're supposed to be family and they're not. And so many of us get torn apart because something inside says: Well, they're supposed to be supportive and loving. How come they're tearing each other apart and being mean? 

Let me explain this in a very simple way. For those of you who are spiritual, you will find that inner deep “knowing” that your family and friends should be loving and caring and supportive and generous and always there. Okay? If they, themselves, are not spiritual, then it doesn't apply. However, what it does apply to is your family and friends in Spirit. They love you unconditionally. They are always there for you. They are there to support you and to guide you. And that is one of the hugest benefits of doing Automatic Writing is you form a relationship with those family and friends that you thought should always be there. And that's part of Intuitive Development is to get you a stronger relationship with those family and friends who are in Spirit and who understand: Yes, that's the way you're supposed to behave. You're always supposed to love everyone. You're always supposed to care. You're always supposed to be supportive. And that is what comes through when you form a relationship with your family and friends on the other side. Why? Because they're in Spirit. So if you have that instinct, and you're being torn apart, you have to realize the simple fact - those family members who are not spiritual, are not going to act that way.

Hans:

Alfred, do you remember any number of years ago when you finally heard the message that you are now giving others, for yourself and your family? Do you remember how things began to change?

Alfred:

Yes.

Hans:

When you stopped being hurt by actions from your family? 

Alfred:

Yes, and there's so many things that seem like basic spiritual teachings in this lesson, but if you go through and actually apply them, your life will change and these basic spiritual lessons of: Not my problem. Just be peaceful. Have no judgment of them. Just be loving. Be peaceful. This will change your life. I carried hell with me for 24 years about my family - how they abused me, how they abandoned me, how my life was ruined because of them. And then one day I woke up and said: Oh, that's not true. And all of a sudden, all that hate, that anger, that disappointment - dissolves.

Hans:

Absolutely.

Alfred:

Because it's not the truth. The truth is, it's not your problem, it's their problem.

Hans:

That is right. And kids, when you get that, and Alfred's about as thick-headed as you can get, sorry Alfred...

Alfred:

It's the truth.

Hans:

It's the truth. (Hans laughing) He's about as thick-headed as you can get and for him to get that... I watched his demeanor, I watched everything about him soften. And I watched the anger begin to dissolve. And I watched him have a resolve to not be hurt by this anymore. And folks, for all of you, there's going to be times when a mother or a father, a sister or a brother says and/or does things to you and deliberately intends to hurt you... It could even be a legal action, and deliberately intends to hurt you, defend yourself legally, but don't take it personally. That's the key. Don't let the statement of somebody else disturb your ease, disturb your peace, okay? Alrighty, I think that will conclude the lesson for today.

For more information, you may like:
Active Communication with Spirit 1
Active Communication with Spirit 2

“Recover Your Joy” - Rebroadcast from December 7, 2013 by Hans Christian King - Spiritual Radio Show Transcription GUIDANCE FOR YOUR LIFE Radio Show

“Recover Your Joy” - Rebroadcast from December 7, 2013

by Hans Christian King -

Spiritual Radio Show Transcription

GUIDANCE FOR YOUR LIFE Radio Show

with Hans Christian King www.HansKing.com

and Alfred Ricci www.AlfredRicci.com

Topic: Recover Your Joy

December 7, 2014

Hans:

Hello everyone. Welcome, welcome. It's a beautiful afternoon here in Asheville, North Carolina. A little rainy and we're supposed to get a little cold, but I guess the whole country is cold. Today's topic is "Recover Your Joy." One of the first things that I recommend, one of the things that we taught Alfred and so many people through the years is: If you want to see something to make you bring joy into your heart, go stick your nose in a flower. If it's winter, and I think I've said this before, pull something up on your computer  and look at the flowers. Just go find some flowers. This will bring a sense of wonder to you. How did all of this ever happen? You know folks, we deny ourselves joy simply though our mind. But there is so much that we can do as simple spirits in human form to remember our joy in life. Nature, I believe is one of the best. You know when I look out of my windows here, we live on the side of a mountain here, and it's all full of trees and water. And when I look outside and even though someone might say: Well, there's no leaves on the trees. You know it's cold. You can find beauty in that. And I find beauty in the way the wind whistles through the trees. And there's still some leftover leaves and we have the squirrels and the raccoons and the chipmunks and every kind of bird you can imagine. And they're all out there and they're not wondering whether or not they're going to be happy or not. They're just worrying about eating, which makes them happy. Nature. Stick your nose in a flower. What do you think Alfred?

Alfred:

Well, what we're trying to do here is give you spiritual practices about helping yourself be happy. And one of the first that Hans is talking about is nature. And you'll notice during the entire show we're going to tell you ways to infuse joy into your life that won't cost you a penny. Or maybe a little bit. We bought a monstrous bag of really good dog food and that cost us about $25...

Hans:

At Costco.

Alfred:

At Costco of course. We're going to feed the raccoons, the possums, the squirrels, the occasional bear, for about three or four months and that cost us $25. I think I spend about $7 on bird food maybe once a month or so. So these are really inexpensive ways to make yourself be happy. And this is so against, like all of our teachings here are, against what they try to teach you on television. Which is: Buy, Buy, Buy. And we're saying: No. Here's a bunch of ways for you to be happy by doing really simple things.

Hans:

I'm going to jump out of our comfort zone for just a moment and say I was really very happy to see on the internet that there was a backlash among the buying public about going from having your Thanksgiving Dinner to running out to shop. Apparently that blew up in their face. That's a good sign for the country. You know, Alfred, one of the things that is really wonderful to do if you're feeling a little down? Go for a walk. Go for a walk and look. Look all around. Look up. Find something interesting. Move yourself out of your sense of despair. And remember that joy is always with you, at all times. You are not separate from your own joy. It's only your mind's perception. I remember Alfred when I told you to go outside and look at a flower. You remember that? 

Alfred:

I thought he was crazy. I said: Flower? Hmm, yeah me city boy who lived in concrete for most of his life...

Hans:

Banker...

Alfred:

Yes. 

(Alfred and Hans chuckling)

Hans:

Banker Consciousness... It was severe, folks.

Alfred:

Yes. So one of the teachings that I now pass along to my students is: If you've got nothing else to do and you want to make yourself feel happy, go stick your nose two inches from a flower. Pretty much I can guarantee you'll feel better.

Hans:

Yes. You really, really are going to feel better. Anything that breaks the mind's perception of the moment has the possibility to bring you joy. Now I know we all have days when there's an appearance that no matter what you do, it's not going to go well. You wonder why you ever got out of bed in the first place or could you just go back to bed. Break the perception of the moment children. That's what's important. Because the mind tends to want to concentrate when you're in lack of joy. It wants to concentrate on the problem. Whatever the problem it perceives it may be. But it wants to go there. It doesn't want you to not fuss. It wants you to suffer. Now Alfred mentioned about feeding the birds or feeding the ducks. These little things that you can do help to break the mind's grip on you and opens up the possibility for joy in your life. Alfred, how many animals are you feeding now do you suppose?

Alfred:

Let's see here. There's the chipmunks, there's the squirrels, there's various types of birds. We now have inherited a medium sized Woodpecker, a couple of bachelor Cardinals, all kinds of regular birds during the daytime. At night we've got possums, we've got the occasional bear, lots of raccoons. And of course The Princess Super Model, Bella.

Hans:

Yes.

Alfred:

Yes. We can't forget about The Princess Super Model.

Hans:

Alfred, do we have a picture up on the website yet?

Alfred:

Bella?

Hans:

Yes, of Miss Bella.

Alfred:

I should do that actually.

Hans:

Yes. Well you know she said she wants to have an advice column. 

Alfred:

Yes. Advice from The Princess Super Model.

Hans:

Yes. About...

Alfred:

You too...

Hans:

About how to raise your parents.

Alfred:

She does give it a good job.

Hans:

She does indeed. You know Alfred, another thing that one can do is have what I call "a giving mind," a giving consciousness. Look folks, you may not have a lot of money to sort of go around and buy everybody presents and to give a lot of money to different causes. But what you can do, since we know that thoughts are living things, you can serve through your mind. Spirit has always taught me that the thought and the intention is as good as the deed. So, if you could you would, is as good as the deed. It actually adds an energy to giving. So through proper loving thinking you are giving. Now this concept was difficult for Alfred in the beginning. But Alfred you actually have gotten that lesson pretty well.

Alfred:

Yes. And giving again is one of those things that you don't need to give money. You can give of yourself. It starts with the intention to serve...

Hans:

Yes, your thoughts...

Alfred:

... with the intention to be of service. That is most important. But what's really funny is, this is one of the true ways to be happy. We're taught again during the Holiday Season that to be happy you're supposed to "buy things" and we're saying: "That's not necessary." To give, you can simply be of service. 

Hans:

And giving can come from a place in the heart. If you know that one of your friends is down, but they don't want to talk about it, and they're sort of hiding in themselves, you can just go to the Spirit and say: Please, I've done what I can do for this person, would you please help me to infuse the light into them and bring them the possibilities that may be available in their life? And then just let it go. That turns into an action from Spirit that brightens the quality of that person's life. I can't tell you how many times I have heard someone say: Oh my goodness Hans, I was so depressed and I've only talked to you a couple of minutes but I feel so much better. Giving of yourself, giving kind thoughts, giving hugs... There are times people when you're going to come across someone who, whatever the space they're in, they could be angry, jealous... they could not perhaps find a loving space from their parents in their heart who are just really suffering. Just a hug to that person or a quiet prayer for that person does an enormous amount of good.

Alfred:

Yes. It's basically if you're looking for a way to be happy, go find someone else to help and help them be happy. What you give out, comes back to you.

Hans:

Alrighty. Another thing Alfred that people can do is volunteer their time. There are just thousands and thousands of things out there, organizations and programs that need people for an hour a week, three hours a week, five hours a week. Whatever you can afford of your time. And Spirit sees this. And you are so blessed back because of this action of yours. So learning to give unconditionally, this is the key. I remember my dear grandmother and she had this enormous Christmas Card List and through the years I noticed that it got smaller and smaller and smaller. And I said to her: Grandma what's going on? You used to have like 800 people here. I think it's 300 now. She said: Well, I have a motto. I send people a Christmas Card and if I don't get one back I cross them off the list.  And I said: That's a strange way of living. She said: Well, it's my way. But you see she was giving conditionally, not unconditionally. Give your time. A very, very important one when bringing joy back into your life Alfred is to our old nemesis, our old friend here, the mind chatter. Learn to stop your mind chatter about what's in it for you. What do you think?

Alfred:

And that's one of our core teachings that we go through in The Intuitive Development Class that when you are "of service" and you're helping others, have no expectations, no opinions of the result of what's going to happen, if they're going to help you, or what's in it for you. Basically, expectations, opinions and judgments are some deeply seeded mind chatter. And what we try to teach you is...

Hans:

Yes...

Alfred:

... don't add any more to that which you already have. If you're going to go out and give, and volunteer and help, don't allow yourself to have any expectation of anything in return. Or that it's going to help the person, or how it's going to help the person. Just give.

Hans:

Give for the sheer sake Alfred.

Alfred:

So cut your mind chatter off at the pass...

Hans:

Absolutely.

Alfred:

... and say no expectation, no opinion, I'm just giving for the sake of giving and that's it.

Hans:

You'll find Alfred that your mind chatter does want to interfere with your giving sometimes.

Alfred:

Well, we've been trained that way.

Hans:

Well, I know people Alfred who give because it's expected of them. I know people who actually buy people Christmas presents for no other reason than wanting to be loved. That's not the way to be loved. How about sweeping their front porch? You know if you see an older person that you know has difficulty in doing for themselves a 15 minute gesture, 1/2 hour gesture on your part just works wonders. And I want everyone to know God is there for you. Hear it again: God IS there for you. No matter what the appearance. No matter what is going on in your life right now.  Maybe the holidays depress you. God is there for you. Maybe you feel alone for Christmas. God is there for you. All thoughts are living things. The God-force hears all your thoughts. It's an opportunity for you to practice unconditional love to the universe knowing that the God-force is flowing through you in that action. Okay? Alfred, I also believe that people should try to trust that God has your back.

Alfred:

Yes. And that has to do with fear. Another very difficult lesson for a lot of old souls that have been through some very interesting lessons is: this is going to come after me, that's going to happen to me, these lessons are going to continue, I have to protect myself. And what we try to teach to you is that: No, you have an army of supporters on the other side who are there helping you, guiding you. And as long as you tap into that guidance and surrender into the unknown, you want the unknown, you don't want what's in your head. Then you can trust that you're in the flow with the universe and there is nothing to fear.

Hans:

No.

Alfred:

And once you let go of fear and once you trust that you're in the flow, you're going to feel phenomenal.

Hans:

Absolutely. Knowing in your heart, that a non-judgmental God and a non-judgmental Spirit has your back, knowing they have no judgment of you. Knowing that during this time of the year, they draw near to you to remind you how much they love you. And opening yourself up and saying: I know my god loves me. Talk to Spirit, talk to God about letting go of your fears. Remember your fears are not real friends. It's your mind chatter telling you of something that "could" happen. Alfred, I know you do a lot of work with people who have fear. How do you approach this issue?

Alfred:

Well, you can think about Bella and her playing with her toy for example... How's that squeaky toy Bella, is that good?

Hans:

She wants to be heard.

Alfred:

Bella, is that you telling us you're still there?

Hans:

She is, indeed.

Alfred:

Well, we'll have to take a picture of the Super Model and put her up for you. Sweetness... Sweetness, dad is on the radio right now.

Hans:

I hope all of you are grinning as much as I am. She's got her little squeaky rabbit and she's right next to him and she's trying to make a statement about “don't forget I'm here.”

Alfred:

She wants to play. She's nudging my hand. That's just comical. That should make you feel good...

Hans:

Now there's a joyous thing. See – she's in joy right now because you just threw the rabbit.

Alfred:

Yes. Where were we? Oh, have faith and fear. You have two choices. In general spirituality is the opposite of western training, that a lot of us paid a lot of money for is, you're in control. You get what you negotiate. It's up to you. You are the individual who's responsible. That is stressful. Lord knows a lot of us have been there. And we're trying to tell you: There's an option. There is an option to that stress and it's called Letting Go. Going with the flow, having faith, trust and belief in the universe, in your God, in your guidance. And basically what we say is: If you want to be happy, then have faith, believe, let go and you'll realize, I guess God really does want me to be happy. If you want to do the typical human western thing of "I'm in control, it's up to me," well, if you're wondering why you feel bad, that's the reason. 

Hans:

You know Alfred, having faith, having a deep seeded faith, a quiet, gentle understanding that your life is unfolding as it should. Turning off that mind chatter that tries so desperately to disconnect you from your joy, from your peace, from your possibilities. And it works overtime. Having a quiet understanding: It is the way it is supposed to be. I am unfolding into my bounty of love, my abundance, I am unfolding into my god's arms. And having a quiet knowing of this and allowing yourself to just feel the bliss and the power of God around you every day. There's never a time my friends, when you're ever disconnected from God, never ever a time when you're disconnected from God.

Alfred:

And that's where we're heading you towards. Feeling happy. Feeling joyful. Feeling bliss. Feeling peace in your life. You don't have to search for those things. We just gave you a 1/2 hour of different ways to have those things in your life in a matter of minutes for no, if very little money. Okay? And that is the key. That is the key that we try to teach you in so many of our courses is to “feel.” To feel connected to the universe, to feel the vibration and energy of the universal energy. To feel as Obi-Wan Kenobi taught Luke Skywalker, to "Feel The Force."

Hans:

Yes.

Alfred:

Teachings of Joseph Campbell...

Hans:

As Bella's currently doing. She's feeling The Force.

Alfred:

Yes. Bella, are you feeling happy right now sweetness?

Hans:

Yes.

(Hans and Alfred chuckling in the background)

Alfred:

And that is what we're trying to get across to you today is, do things that make you feel good. Like Bella is playing with her squeaky toy...

Hans:

And it makes all of us smile. I mean you can't help it. She's in this wonderful, blissful little world where she has her little stuffed rabbit and she thinks this is the best thing that ever happened to her. She has her dad here. She loves Alfred like herself. They have this wonderful relationship. And she knows that he's there for her. She knows it. Just like you need to know God and Spirit are there for you always. 

Alfred:

And one final thing is when you're doing these things that we're describing, whether you're simply out in nature, whether you're volunteering, whether you're being of service, or whether you're just simply believing and having faith, take a moment and feel the energy. Feel the bliss, feel the joy enter into your soul. Take a moment and feel it enter into your life. Just take a moment and let it sink in.

Hans:

Absolutely. That a wonderful subject. What a wonderful topic, "Recover Your Joy." And Alfred I believe that will conclude the lesson for today.

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