“The Passing of Loved Ones and Friends” - by Hans Christian King
Spiritual Radio Show Transcription
GUIDANCE FOR YOUR LIFE Radio Show
with Hans Christian King www.HansKing.com
and Alfred Ricci www.AlfredRicci.com
Topic: The Passing of Loved Ones and Friends
December 5, 2015
HANS:
Folks this is a time of the year when both Alfred and I begin to notice a lot of people in our classes, a lot of people in our social life are losing loved ones. So many people have lost people during the holiday seasons, people who may have been here last year or two years ago, five years ago, but they’re not here in the human form this year.
How do you handle that? Well, it’s really hard because what we have is what I call “the absence of the presence.”
We know that that soul is beautiful, they’re happy, they’re young, they look great—but for us, we have the memory of the person being in our life for twenty, thirty, forty years, and suddenly one day, you can’t call them. They’re not coming for Thanksgiving dinner, they’re not coming for Christmas. How do you handle that?
I think one of the most important things is to remember our greatest fear, our greatest concern, is that we fear that person’s identity, the consciousness of that individual, may no longer be there. Because if you can’t talk to them and have a dialogue on the phone or in person, gee, I wonder if they’re really there or have they moved on? I hear this a lot from people, “Have my loved ones moved on?”
ALFRED:
And what Hans is trying to say, is that we take it for granted. They’re on the other side, happy, they’re continuing their life, they’re meeting with their friends on the other side, they get to pick whatever appearance, usually a younger appearance, they’re more vibrant, and for us it’s a common way to look at someone on the other side.
HANS:
The truth of the matter is, always remember this my friends, this is the illusion. This life that you, and Alfred and I, this is the illusion. Spirit is the reality. For instance, when I go off to school, when I’m young that takes up a big chunk of my life everyday. Is the school, in fact, my reality? No. Home is your reality. The school is something you agreed to participate in, so it’s an illusional type of thing. In other words, it’s a choice that we make.
ALFRED:
So what we’re trying to do is help you understand that the easiest, simple way to deal with someone’s passing is to realize there is no question whether their consciousness continued, there is no question whether they are happy. Basically, you can take for granted they’re in bliss, joy, they’re happy.
HANS:
They’re glad to be out of here. Not glad to leave their loved ones, but glad to be out of the heaviness. The energy is very heavy when we’re on this side, and so having an ability to be lighter and have the same consciousness is a big difference.
ALFRED:
That, and also to realize that just because they’ve passed to the other side, also take it for granted that they are around you, waiting for you to ask them for help.
HANS:
You know, Alfred, one of the biggest questions that I get is, “Can they hear me?” In other words, the identity of the individual, can that still hear me the same way that it heard me on this side on the phone or in person. The answer is absolutely. In fact, it’s even magnified.
So, one of the things that we teach in our classes is always remember to ask your loved ones for things, always remember to include them. I include my Dad in my driving, even if I’m just going down to the market, I include him in that. Bring those on the other side back into your life, so you still have them in your heart.
ALFRED:
Take it for granted that they continued, they’re in a better space, that they hear you, they are around you, and take it for granted that you can do fun things. It doesn’t have to be serious always, you can go shopping, go for a beer, go for a walk, go for a drive, whatever that person liked to do on this side with you, you can pretty much take it for granted that they still would like to do it.
HANS:
Alfred was teaching a class and so I said to my Dad, “Come on, let’s go to a movie.” I could feel his presence sitting right beside me, I could feel him. So what I want to say to you is, for those of you who have lost someone to the spirit world, the holidays always bring up a sense of a little pain, a little sadness. For some of you maybe you’ve lost both of your parents, maybe you’ve even lost a brother or sister, or even worse, a child. Know that those people are no more than a thought away from you. The only thing that distances you from them is your own thought form.
ALFRED:
Doubt.
HANS:
A big one. Huge. Doubt really separates.
ALFRED:
So have no doubt that they survived. Have no doubt that they’re around you. Have no doubt that you can still interact with them.
HANS:
Yes. Absolutely. And you know, Alfred, so many people believe—but when it comes to issues of the loss of a person, their belief gets really tested, because they think—“I know it works for other people but are my people really still around me?” And one of the things that we ask you to do is, give them things to do. We use the parking space, the parking fairy, and give them things to do. Please help my son, he’s trying to get into this university; just implore them to come on in. I used to tell people to set a place at the table for them, for the one that you lost that you are mourning. Set it because they are there. They are there.
ALFRED:
Okay, on to our next topic, which is how do you deal with relatives, friends who are preparing to pass?
HANS:
Now there’s a tough one. Both Alfred and I have noticed that we have many clients that are emailing us and booking appointments because they are losing someone. We have friends who are in hospice, and we’re visiting friends in hospice and how do you deal with that? Those that are getting ready to transcend, to make that transition back to the spirit world are in a completely different space than you and I. They’re in a space of finality. They know that they’re leaving the body. You know they’re leaving the body. What is the dialogue that go back and forth?
I spent yesterday helping a dear lady friend of ours who is making her transition and she was asking what the process was. How did it work? You can really help people by letting them know the most important thing they want to know: is will their consciousness survive? This has been a big one for me for fifty years. Does their consciousness survive? The answer is yes. If you can reassure them that their consciousness survives, then it makes the entire process for them less of an ending. It just doesn’t end. Oh, I’m just transferring to a new car. I’m just going to another house; which is actually the truth. So helping people to understand in this transition that this is not a time about you, it’s about them, and being there for them.
Alfred, I have a lady who is losing her little dog of eighteen years right now and it’s all she has. And she’s only sixty years old. She says, how do I handle this? You tell that little one whenever he wants to come back you’ll be available, because most times you’ll get the little pets you lost back again.
For those of you who are helping a loved one to the other side, reassure them again that their consciousness continues. You’ll be able to dialogue with them. You can make arrangements to have certain things happen. I had a lady who said she told her father when he died, “Tilt all my pictures to the right, if you can.” About a month later all the pictures in the house were tilted to the right.
ALFRED:
And that’s the joke I’ve been doing with people. When my nana passed, she was very upset that she didn’t get to do certain things, and you can say quite simply, well when you decide to come back from the other side you can decide to do those things you wanted to do.
I like the way Hans was describing it. If you have your favorite coat, and after a long time it’s worn out, it has some holes, what do you do? You wear it once in awhile, but then you decide okay, I’m going to get a new coat. That’s it. If your coat is worn out, quite simply you just decide to get a new one. And that’s basically it. When I’ve been dealing with people who are making their transition, I try to make it optimistic.
HANS:
That’s a good idea. Alfred has often visited a dear friend of his who is not doing well, and he was watching what I did yesterday, and the coat statement is really very important. People really hear that. So you might say to someone—you wouldn’t wear the same coat for your entire life would you? Because it would be ragged and torn.
Helping people to understand, number one, that their consciousness survives. Number two, you’ll see that they’re not going anywhere you’re not. I like that statement. When I give that statement to people, I said to my friend yesterday, you’re not going anywhere I’m not. I’ll see you again and give you a hug again, and we’ll look about and talk and try to get caught up on everybody we know. So we’re all headed in the same direction; we just are all in different cars.
So if you have someone whose getting ready to make their transition, be there for them. Most important thing: listen to them. Listen. They need someone to hear them. Please, if you have a situation like this, go to the prayer requests, and we’ll get that person on the prayer list and add all the positive energy, love and light that we can.
No one is going to take away your grief from losing your friend, your lover, your family member, no one can take that away. What you can do is make it easier on you and on them, by talking about the rejoining with each other when you make your transition. Okay?
And that will conclude the lesson for today.
December 5, 2015
HANS:
Folks this is a time of the year when both Alfred and I begin to notice a lot of people in our classes, a lot of people in our social life are losing loved ones. So many people have lost people during the holiday seasons, people who may have been here last year or two years ago, five years ago, but they’re not here in the human form this year.
How do you handle that? Well, it’s really hard because what we have is what I call “the absence of the presence.”
We know that that soul is beautiful, they’re happy, they’re young, they look great—but for us, we have the memory of the person being in our life for twenty, thirty, forty years, and suddenly one day, you can’t call them. They’re not coming for Thanksgiving dinner, they’re not coming for Christmas. How do you handle that?
I think one of the most important things is to remember our greatest fear, our greatest concern, is that we fear that person’s identity, the consciousness of that individual, may no longer be there. Because if you can’t talk to them and have a dialogue on the phone or in person, gee, I wonder if they’re really there or have they moved on? I hear this a lot from people, “Have my loved ones moved on?”
ALFRED:
And what Hans is trying to say, is that we take it for granted. They’re on the other side, happy, they’re continuing their life, they’re meeting with their friends on the other side, they get to pick whatever appearance, usually a younger appearance, they’re more vibrant, and for us it’s a common way to look at someone on the other side.
HANS:
The truth of the matter is, always remember this my friends, this is the illusion. This life that you, and Alfred and I, this is the illusion. Spirit is the reality. For instance, when I go off to school, when I’m young that takes up a big chunk of my life everyday. Is the school, in fact, my reality? No. Home is your reality. The school is something you agreed to participate in, so it’s an illusional type of thing. In other words, it’s a choice that we make.
ALFRED:
So what we’re trying to do is help you understand that the easiest, simple way to deal with someone’s passing is to realize there is no question whether their consciousness continued, there is no question whether they are happy. Basically, you can take for granted they’re in bliss, joy, they’re happy.
HANS:
They’re glad to be out of here. Not glad to leave their loved ones, but glad to be out of the heaviness. The energy is very heavy when we’re on this side, and so having an ability to be lighter and have the same consciousness is a big difference.
ALFRED:
That, and also to realize that just because they’ve passed to the other side, also take it for granted that they are around you, waiting for you to ask them for help.
HANS:
You know, Alfred, one of the biggest questions that I get is, “Can they hear me?” In other words, the identity of the individual, can that still hear me the same way that it heard me on this side on the phone or in person. The answer is absolutely. In fact, it’s even magnified.
So, one of the things that we teach in our classes is always remember to ask your loved ones for things, always remember to include them. I include my Dad in my driving, even if I’m just going down to the market, I include him in that. Bring those on the other side back into your life, so you still have them in your heart.
ALFRED:
Take it for granted that they continued, they’re in a better space, that they hear you, they are around you, and take it for granted that you can do fun things. It doesn’t have to be serious always, you can go shopping, go for a beer, go for a walk, go for a drive, whatever that person liked to do on this side with you, you can pretty much take it for granted that they still would like to do it.
HANS:
Alfred was teaching a class and so I said to my Dad, “Come on, let’s go to a movie.” I could feel his presence sitting right beside me, I could feel him. So what I want to say to you is, for those of you who have lost someone to the spirit world, the holidays always bring up a sense of a little pain, a little sadness. For some of you maybe you’ve lost both of your parents, maybe you’ve even lost a brother or sister, or even worse, a child. Know that those people are no more than a thought away from you. The only thing that distances you from them is your own thought form.
ALFRED:
Doubt.
HANS:
A big one. Huge. Doubt really separates.
ALFRED:
So have no doubt that they survived. Have no doubt that they’re around you. Have no doubt that you can still interact with them.
HANS:
Yes. Absolutely. And you know, Alfred, so many people believe—but when it comes to issues of the loss of a person, their belief gets really tested, because they think—“I know it works for other people but are my people really still around me?” And one of the things that we ask you to do is, give them things to do. We use the parking space, the parking fairy, and give them things to do. Please help my son, he’s trying to get into this university; just implore them to come on in. I used to tell people to set a place at the table for them, for the one that you lost that you are mourning. Set it because they are there. They are there.
ALFRED:
Okay, on to our next topic, which is how do you deal with relatives, friends who are preparing to pass?
HANS:
Now there’s a tough one. Both Alfred and I have noticed that we have many clients that are emailing us and booking appointments because they are losing someone. We have friends who are in hospice, and we’re visiting friends in hospice and how do you deal with that? Those that are getting ready to transcend, to make that transition back to the spirit world are in a completely different space than you and I. They’re in a space of finality. They know that they’re leaving the body. You know they’re leaving the body. What is the dialogue that go back and forth?
I spent yesterday helping a dear lady friend of ours who is making her transition and she was asking what the process was. How did it work? You can really help people by letting them know the most important thing they want to know: is will their consciousness survive? This has been a big one for me for fifty years. Does their consciousness survive? The answer is yes. If you can reassure them that their consciousness survives, then it makes the entire process for them less of an ending. It just doesn’t end. Oh, I’m just transferring to a new car. I’m just going to another house; which is actually the truth. So helping people to understand in this transition that this is not a time about you, it’s about them, and being there for them.
Alfred, I have a lady who is losing her little dog of eighteen years right now and it’s all she has. And she’s only sixty years old. She says, how do I handle this? You tell that little one whenever he wants to come back you’ll be available, because most times you’ll get the little pets you lost back again.
For those of you who are helping a loved one to the other side, reassure them again that their consciousness continues. You’ll be able to dialogue with them. You can make arrangements to have certain things happen. I had a lady who said she told her father when he died, “Tilt all my pictures to the right, if you can.” About a month later all the pictures in the house were tilted to the right.
ALFRED:
And that’s the joke I’ve been doing with people. When my nana passed, she was very upset that she didn’t get to do certain things, and you can say quite simply, well when you decide to come back from the other side you can decide to do those things you wanted to do.
I like the way Hans was describing it. If you have your favorite coat, and after a long time it’s worn out, it has some holes, what do you do? You wear it once in awhile, but then you decide okay, I’m going to get a new coat. That’s it. If your coat is worn out, quite simply you just decide to get a new one. And that’s basically it. When I’ve been dealing with people who are making their transition, I try to make it optimistic.
HANS:
That’s a good idea. Alfred has often visited a dear friend of his who is not doing well, and he was watching what I did yesterday, and the coat statement is really very important. People really hear that. So you might say to someone—you wouldn’t wear the same coat for your entire life would you? Because it would be ragged and torn.
Helping people to understand, number one, that their consciousness survives. Number two, you’ll see that they’re not going anywhere you’re not. I like that statement. When I give that statement to people, I said to my friend yesterday, you’re not going anywhere I’m not. I’ll see you again and give you a hug again, and we’ll look about and talk and try to get caught up on everybody we know. So we’re all headed in the same direction; we just are all in different cars.
So if you have someone whose getting ready to make their transition, be there for them. Most important thing: listen to them. Listen. They need someone to hear them. Please, if you have a situation like this, go to the prayer requests, and we’ll get that person on the prayer list and add all the positive energy, love and light that we can.
No one is going to take away your grief from losing your friend, your lover, your family member, no one can take that away. What you can do is make it easier on you and on them, by talking about the rejoining with each other when you make your transition. Okay?
And that will conclude the lesson for today.
