“Online Social Life”- by Hans Christian King
Spiritual Radio Show Transcription
GUIDANCE FOR YOUR LIFE Radio Show
with Hans Christian King www.HansKing.com
and Alfred Ricci www.AlfredRicci.com
Topic: Online Social Life
May 24, 2015
HANS:
Hello everybody. Today's topic is "Online Social Life.” This is a question that my friend Dan has asked me quite a few times... and I've kind of avoided it and I know I shouldn't have done that. Because Spirit is ready to address anything.
But, folks there's a huge amount of people... many of them very young people coming into this world who actually believe that life originates out of the computer screen. Now hear me through, don't get made at me... they do. And they move all of their life - hopes, desires, problems, personal satisfactions out of the computer screen. And they're beginning to believe that's what life is.
I can remember a time when I had to pull Alfred up short because everywhere we went he brought his iPhone and every time we sat down he was taking emails and sending texts. And I had to say to him: Wait a minute. That's not life. He said to me: What do you mean? I said: No, no, no. That's what you do, that's not your life. And he wanted to argue with me... and then he began to see how dependent he had become.
Alfred, throw something in with this will me will you?
ALFRED:
Business online is a wonderful tool. It really helps you communicate with others. But, of course, what we're talking about here is spiritually speaking... Are you looking for a social life or even meaning online? Could looking for meaning or social life online lead to happiness or could it lead to depression?
HANS:
Exactly, Alfred. And that, Alfred, is one of my main concerns. We have an awful lot of lonely youngsters, teenage children, young adults, who... for whatever their situation is at home are longing for some companionship, for someone to see them, for someone to understand who they are and where they are and what their frustrations are. And they believe they can get that through the computer. But mostly, Alfred, somebody will sell something to these people.
And so one of my pet peeves is that we don't steer our children back out into society at an early age through games, or through fun classes, theater, music, all kinds of stuff that are out there for youngsters today. We don't do that. We keep babysitting them with the computer. And what you're doing is destroying the childrens ability to form natural relationships. The relationships like I had, Alfred had, my parents, his parents, all of your parents out there.
We did not have the computer to tell us who we were and who we could become if you believe the computer. All the computer is there to do is deliver information. And much of it, when you are searching, has to do with buying something. So what I'm trying to get across to people is it may be time to look at the way we hold value in our children. Because so many kids are so very lonely. They come from, perhaps broken homes, their parents may not be able to see who they are.
And there is this quiet frustration and anger. And may I say folks - suicide. If you can believe that. Suicide from youngsters who feel so alone. They feel there's absolutely no hope. Nobody will every hear them. Nobody will ever see them. But we do have organizations that help these children. We do have groups... even Government money has been thrown into trying to help people to see there's life outside of the computer.
Now about 2 years ago, I think it was, Alfred, maybe 3 years ago, I was blessed to be able to be Keynote Speaker at Agape's Revelation... where we're going next week. But one of my joys was I got to speak to the Young People's Group. And they were just the same as any other kids. They were blown away. They finally got to see what I do and one kid said: Oh, I used to do that when I was a kid. How do you get back and do that? They're involved in programs with each other. They were learning how to communicate with each other. And my heart just soared. It was a big hit.
And as we go down life's path I want to do more of those. Helping people to understand, helping these kids to understand that they are somebody. Not waiting to become somebody... that they already are. And I want the kids out there to know, that however you perceive God to be, it does not love anyone more than you. You are the reflection of God in human form.
Alfred, when did you come across that awareness for yourself?
ALFRED:
Really when I sold a phone and didn't have a phone for a month. (Alfred chuckling)
HANS:
Oh, I remember that. I was a little worried for you honestly. (Hans chuckling)
ALFRED:
Yes. I actually went through withdrawals. I actually forced myself, on purpose, to sell my phone early and knowing I was going to wait for a new phone to really wean myself off of it that I realized how addicted I was. And that was something I really didn't even realize is that people are searching for meaning, people are searching for something online.
And Hans, what's your opinion of "are online relationships as satisfying as real relationships?"
HANS:
Oh, absolutely not. No, no, no, no. You have to develop, Alfred, a relationship by being "with" someone. Even if its going for a coffee or the two of you sitting on the beach watching seagulls walk by. That's how you develop a relationship. You do not develop a relationship electronically. I don't care what any scientist out there tells me. You will not have the same impact on your life from a computer generated relationship as you will from a personal related person... a person who is relating to you, a person who can see you, a person who gives you actual hugs... a somebody who kisses you on the forehead and says: I see your value. I get who you are. I really like being with you.
You can't get that on a computer, Alfred. And where my fear comes is that no matter how many of these computers are going to be around, for a long time, in the end it will always boil down to the need for human companionship - always.
ALFRED:
And that's what I see as the major issue is people are trying to "replace" human contact with things like posts and tweets.
HANS:
Yes.
ALFRED:
And what we're trying to say is "no," you have to start from having human contact.
HANS:
That's right.
ALFRED:
And if it's fine for your human friends that you have human contact with to tweet them and post them once in awhile. But a lot of the depression is that people are thinking they don't need to go out, they don't need to interact, that they're going to get the same type of meaning, the same type of fulfillment by using Facebook and Twitter. And what we're really telling you is that could lead to serious depression.
HANS:
Very much so... and to suicidal thoughts.
ALFRED:
Yes.
HANS:
That, folks, is a proven fact now.
ALFRED:
So if you're online a lot and you're feeling depressed, what we want you to consider is the place that you're looking for happiness may be leading you in a direction different from what you're seeking.
HANS:
Yes. And you know it doesn't make any difference who you perceive yourself to be. God and Spirit perceive you to be love personified. And even though you look around your life, kids, and you say: But, there's nothing here for me. It's because you're not creating anything. Maybe you come from a broken home, maybe something bad happened to you as a child and you don't trust society anymore... But Spirit loves you. Every single one of you.
And when you put yourself into a position that says: You know what? There's got to be something more than this. There's got to be something more than me sitting here 15 hours a day playing on the computer and trying to find romance... trying to find someone who sees me. It won't happen. They're all temporary. It's all a mirage. It's all an illusion. And in the end you'll be left empty handed.
Kids, get out there. There are hundreds of clubs, if not thousands, in this nation of ours who will help you if you're straight, if you're gay, if you're bi-gender, it doesn't matter. What matters is you get out and you interact with other kids and young people who are going through the exact same thing that you are. And you're going to find that you'll meet somebody and they'll say: You know what? I really feel a lot like you.
And I want you to know that in that moment when you hear someone say: I can feel you... Oh, my God there's another one, I'm not the only one. Your life changes for the rest of your life in that moment. Okay? And kids, and you adults also, this scolding from Uncle Hansie - stop that incessant putting everything you are and everything you do on the internet. It is going to come back and bite you. So bad is it that even our President has said to the kids: Don't do it.
And some of the accounts out there, that own these accounts, are saying: You know what? You're putting too much information out here. Hold something back that is called "you." Don't confuse who you are with what you do. I don't care that you put out there what you do, but I care a lot that you put out there who you are. Because you don't want anybody out there to be aware of who your little baby angel is until you want to share that with a partner.
ALFRED:
I think it's that people are really trying to replace real life with an online life which is why they're so willing to post absolutely everything. I don't need to this in real life because I can do it online...
HANS:
Right.
ALFRED:
And what we're trying to say is: No...
HANS:
No, you can't.
ALFRED:
First comes your "real" life. And do a couple of things here and there online. But if you're depressed searching for "meaning" and you're replacing physical contact with online interaction, then you really need to take a look at it. Because you're losing your social skills by being only online. You're losing physical contact by being online. You're not feeling anyone's presence. You're not feeling anyone's touch.
HANS:
That's very important. Even a hug, Alfred... for a lot of these people. No...
ALFRED:
A hug, a handshake, what's it like just to be in someone else's presence. All of these things you do not get from online. That energy... you share energy, you share emotions with other people. And the human body needs those things.
HANS:
Absolutely. We were born for love. We were born for affection. And you cannot, children, get that on a computer. You just simply can't. And I hate to say this to you but many of the online relationship people who have said: Oh, I found somebody. I would say to you that 50% of those have dissolved already.
You have to build it. It's a good way to open a door for you. Because what so many kids and young people have out there today, Alfred, is a No Vacancy sign on their forehead. Because something has burned them, something has hurt them. Maybe someone said that they weren't attractive. Maybe somebody said they'll never amount to anybody. But they need to know that the Spirit, when it looks at you, says: Oh, my goodness you're perfect for me. And God says: You're perfect for me.
And I'm not going off on a religious path. I'm just telling you you guys need to go back to the source. The emotional source where all human beings is that we're baby angels in human form. Pure and simple. And there are organizations, there's social clubs, meeting clubs - free things - won't cost you a dime, that just go sit and listen to somebody or some music. Your chances of meeting people are very, very good if you simply shut off the No Vacancy sign.
ALFRED:
Yeah. And just make an effort. For example, "Meetup." Yes, it's online, but you schedule meeting other people in person. And there's a Meetup on just about every topic in the entire world. There are spiritual groups, there are book clubs, poetry clubs, hiking clubs, bicycling clubs...
HANS:
There's more of that in the United States than anywhere else on earth, Alfred.
ALFRED:
And whether you look on meetup.com or just search for local groups another place, the point is to get "offline" and actually have physical contact with people. Yes, it may be awkward because you have to have a little bit of social skills, but you need...
HANS:
Yeah, but you can't learn social skills without being social.
ALFRED:
That's the whole point is you're going to lose social skills by being online... But get off, get interacting with people. Then you'll find what you're looking for.
HANS:
Absolutely. And you know, Alfred, there's a large group of my clients, that are basically hard working people. Most of them are single. They go to work and they stop at the grocery store and they get home and they say: I'm too tired to go anywhere. Somewhere in that week you can find something you can do where you don't get up the next day to work and you can go and do it. I had one lady say to me: Oh, I'm terrified of driving at night. I said: Have a friend take you. Get out of the house.
ALFRED:
Take a taxi...
HANS:
Exactly.
ALFRED:
Just take a taxi. Go to a bar. You don't want to drive anyway.
HANS:
No. And don't go to a Movie because that's more, you know, closing yourself in. When Alfred says: Go to a bar. He doesn't mean to get drunk. He means: Go around. There's some Jazz Bars, there's all kinds of young organizations that play music and have non-alcoholic beverages, and they have all kinds of hiking, swimming classes... All of that stuff. It's out there.
And for you older people who have given up... you 55, 60 year olds who have given up, you're doing that to yourself because there are plenty of people out there that would love to get a hug by you... plenty of people who would like to share their children with you and you share your children with them.
ALFRED:
Things like classes for us younger to middle-aged kids, take a class at a community college. I took a Welding Class last year.
HANS:
You had a ball.
ALFRED:
It was absolutely hilarious! Take a class. What's it going to cost you at a Community College - $50. You don't need social skills. You sit there and talk about whatever the class is. Take a Cooking Class. Okay? All of these options are to get out and meet other people.
And for those of you sick of the bar scene... Well, yeah, there's a reason you're sick of the bar scene because it's all about ego, it's all about alcohol. So that's what I mean. In a Meetup group, find something you like to do, whether it's a common interest like biking, roller blading, art, poetry...
HANS:
Well there's just so many things out there now, Alfred.
ALFRED:
Yes. Just check meetup.com and use that to get offline and interacting with other people so you can find what you're looking for.
HANS:
Folks, have you ever noticed that when you're using the computer how fast the time goes? You suddenly look up and you started at 7:30 after dinner and it's a quarter to 10? And you accomplished absolutely nothing. If you took that time to run down to your local book store... Because most of the good book stores have speakers for free, doesn't cost you a dime, you don't have to buy anything whatsoever... Just little things like that. That's what Alfred and I are talking about.
Make yourself available for you to get out to become someone... risk becoming someone other than that person who's becoming reclusive, who's becoming housebound, who's only safe going to the market and work and back. Be something better than that.
Alfred, I think that will conclude the lesson for today.
For more information, you may like:
Lessons on How to Return to You
Change Your Life by Changing Your Intentions
For more information, you may like:
Lessons on How to Return to You
Change Your Life by Changing Your Intentions
