“The Lesson of Self Esteem” - by Hans Christian King Spiritual Radio Show Transcription

“The Lesson of Self Esteem” - by Hans Christian King 

Spiritual Radio Show Transcription

GUIDANCE FOR YOUR LIFE Radio Show

with Hans Christian King www.HansKing.com

and Alfred Ricci www.AlfredRicci.com

Topic: The Lesson of Self Esteem

May 10, 2014

Alfred:

Hello everyone and welcome to GUIDANCE FOR YOUR LIFE. Again this is Alfred, the Padawan Learner to the Modern Day Mystic himself, Hans Christian King whose right with me in the studio. Today's topic comes from one of our Spiritual Circle Members. And as we've been posting to Facebook we're taking your topics that you can send in and if we happen to use your topic then you can put something about how this lesson affects you personally. So this topic is coming from Kelly in Toronto, Canada one of our longtime members and we hope to be able to help him on "The Lesson of Self Esteem". Now Kelly writes in that Hans has spoken often about the lesson of self esteem and sometimes Kelly seems to get it and sometimes Kelly seems to feels like it's eluding him. So to further expand upon the lesson of self esteem I present to you the Modern Day Mystic himself, Hans Christian King.

Hans:

And hello everyone. How wonderful to be back with you. It's a beautiful, beautiful day today. This particular lesson of self esteem is presented to me almost every day that I work. There are so many older souls in this world and as you've often heard me say: The primary lesson of older souls is self esteem or the value of their own soul. This sounds so simple but it is very, very complex. Self esteem is about knowing who you are, why you are, and where you are, and making all of the above perfect. In other words making it okay. Oftentimes we work on the self esteem issue and we say: Ah...like Kelly says: I got it. Okay, I got it. And we live for a moment in bliss and say: Ah, thank goodness I've learned this lesson. But deep inside there's a little green meanie that continues to elude us and hides from us and it moves around and then it jumps out at us and grabs us once again and says: Ha ha, I gotcha! What do we do when then happens? What is the true definition of self esteem? To me self esteem means knowing again who you are, having a connection with Spirit that says I am the Spirit in human form therefore I am perfect at all times. The series that I did "You Are Enough" with the Spirit pointed out that there was nothing you could do that would ever make you better than who you already are. Alfred I'd like to bring you in here for a second on this as I know this is a lesson that you are confronted with or have been confronted with in the past and many of your clients are working with their self esteem. How do you approach your own self esteem? How did it begin to change for you?

Alfred:

Well as we love to do Hans so many times is we take everyday issues that our students and listeners are dealing with such as self esteem and help them understand it from a spiritual perspective. Shall we say the ordinary every day way of looking at self esteem is: How do you think about yourself, how do you feel about yourself? And what we try to do is help people understand self esteem from a spiritual perspective and that's what Hans was talking about. I'm sure there are Psychiatrists who try to deal with people's self esteem and a lot of other ways. We deal with it from a spiritual perspective. And the way I like to present self esteem is quite simple: You are perfect. You are love. You are everything you could possibly need already. What clouds your vision, what clouds your perception, your opinion of yourself is your humanness. It could be trauma, it could be other people's opinions. All of these things week after week after week, product after product that we help you understand have nothing to do with the perfect soul that you are. How's that Hans?

Hans:

Well that's very, very good. You know Alfred for so many people, me included, you included, in your childhood you were made to understand you just weren't quite good enough. That if you just did this you'd be better or why aren't you like so and so? So and so has the perfect son or the perfect daughter, you should strive to be like that, or be like them. You see people who get straight A's and you want to emulate them because you know they're better than you are. You see we're taught that performance can make you better. The truth of the matter is Spirit never looks at the performance. Totally irrelevant to the Spirit. They only look at the person in the moment - are they peaceful, do they love themselves, what is their intention, are they happy? Coming to grips with your own reality that says: I am enough. I don't need to be anything else. I don't need to do anything else. I am already perfect for my God. Sitting in that place Alfred begins to open doors for you that the mind chatter has blocked for years. The mind chatter reminding you once again that you're not quite good enough. Now Alfred I know that you went through some of this, early days in your life. What do you think was the defining moment where you began to see - maybe I am enough?

Alfred:

There's so many things that cloud our vision of the truth that we are a soul having a human experience and that soul is connected to the perfect universe, the universal energy, God and that's all you need. But it is our humanness that blocks our perception of it and changes our perception of us because we start believing commercials, family, friends...we start believing what happened in our past, we start believing trauma instead of just the simple truth of: Oh, I'm just borrowing this body for this go around to happen to have some certain experiences and the body's going to go away and I'm going to go back to being a perfect soul and I'm going to get another body. It is only after you go through all of the spiritual lessons that we're talking about - about letting go of ego, being in the now, letting go of the past, everybody knows all of the inner work that we talk about that you come down to the simple realization that you're a soul using the body to have certain experiences.

Hans:

Yes.

Alfred:

And it becomes that simple and you say: Oh, wasn't this a nice ride. There is nothing to critique. There is nothing to worry about. As Hans says it's not what other people say that matters, it's what you think about what other people say that matters. Those types of lessons have absolutely nothing to do with you and once you get through all of the lessons that we talk about all that's left is just you,  the soul. That's how I got through it Hans.

Hans:

Wonderful. I'd like to address this to Kelly who's a dear friend. Kelly when was the last time that the mind chatter told you how wonderful you are and that you already were perfect and that God loved you just the way you are and you needed not to worry about what other people thought of you, what other people said of you. When was the last time that you could sit and be peaceful and just know that your God already loves you. In part of the "You Are Enough" Series, the Spirit says: What if you woke up tomorrow and found out that just who you are in this moment was enough for God? There was nothing you needed to do, nowhere you needed to go, nothing you needed to accomplish, that you could not be better than who you already are and who you are was equal to anyone else in the universe. Now there's...I remember doing The Alan Cohen Show and Allen said: By God, can you imagine how the world would be if everybody understood that they already were enough and stopped trying to be better than who they already are? And you can say: Well yes, but so and so was born with 10 million dollars, and so and so has a better education, and so and so is doing great things. That has nothing to do with you. The lesson for old souls is self esteem again or the value of their own soul. And once you begin to learn: Oh, I don't have to struggle. I choose to do this, I choose to do that, I choose to try this, and I choose to try that. It's because you want to do it not because you need to do it. You're not here to prove anything to anyone for any reason. You are here to let go of all the things that have held you back from being the perfect you. You see? So what is the definition of self esteem? It's how you hold yourself. Do you hold yourself in love? Do you hold yourself in light? Do you allow yourself to just be and revel in that? That just who you are right now God loves so. I had a dear client the other day who said: I'm really having a struggle Hans. My family just doesn't get who I am and they're making my life really quite miserable. And I said to her: Dear lady, no they are not. You are making your life quite miserable. She was rather offended and she said: I don't know what you're talking about and I said: It doesn't matter what they say, it matters what you think of what they say. That's the key. If you turn to that situation and say: You know what, this is not my problem, this is their problem, my God loves me, I am perfect, and I think I'll just stay the wonderful person that I already am. How do we know when we think we have the lesson? Alfred how did you know when you sort of saw the lesson and thought maybe you had gotten it?

Alfred:

Well I think this lesson is like all things of spirituality, you get a glimpse. And then that glimpse gets longer. Maybe it's 30 seconds you have perfect self esteem and maybe you have a minute of perfect self esteem and maybe you have 5 minutes and it happens periodically throughout the day and then eventually it starts an hour, a couple of hours or maybe you have perfect self esteem most of the day, some of the days. But as far as I'm concerned I don't think we can ever be a perfect spirit while we have a human body. It's just how much intention and how much inner work do you have to be as Spirit as much as you can while you're in human form. So I don't know if you can ever get the lesson I think if you finally do then nothing bothers you. You're perfectly in peace all day every day.

Hans:

It's kind of like you harmonize with the universe.

Alfred:

And that's when I think you get the lesson is when you have those glimpses. When you have a glimpse that: Oh, I am peaceful. There is nothing I need to do. There is nothing I need to learn. There is nothing I need to read. There is no one I need to be. I don't compare myself to others. Nothing around me bothers me.  That's when you get a glimpse of what it's like to be a perfect soul and have spiritual self esteem.

Hans:

Well you know what’s interesting Alfred is when you do get the lesson, when you finally hear it, when you finally see. it you're perspective changes and then your whole life begins to change and you begin to say: Wow, this is interesting. So I already am okay. I already am enough. I don't need to be anything else other than what I am at this moment. And once that finally settles in the stress and the pain and the mind chatter and all the stuff that goes with it, trying to better yourself, begins to evaporate and then out of nowhere, absolutely nowhere,  doors begin to open that lead you forward onto a new path and that path doesn't have a 'you have to prove anything' aspect of it. It allows you to just be you.

Alfred:

And I think that's the point Hans is the spiritual approach, especially the self esteem is the exact opposite of the way humans approach self improvement. You will acquire wonderful, excellent, peaceful, blissful self esteem when you stop trying to make yourself better. And instead let go of those things, let go of the notion that you can better, let go of the notion that you can be smarter, let go of the notion that other people have a good opinion or should have an opinion of you or you listen to other people's opinion. Let go of your humanness then you find the self esteem that you're looking for because nothing's haunting you anymore.

Hans:

Exactly.

Alfred:

Okay? So that's really important is the more you try to approach self esteem from a human standpoint the more you realize it becomes more difficult. I remember somebody said one time "The more you learn, the more you realize how much there is to learn and how much it's impossible to learn everything that there is to learn". So the more you travel down that path of trying to make yourself better, prettier, smarter in whatever way through a human aspect the more you realize how much more there is to make yourself better. So what we're saying is do the complete opposite. It's by letting go of those human things. It's by letting go of trying to improve. It is by the simple notion that you have everything you need already...

Hans:

Already...that's correct.

Alfred:

...and it is by letting go that you have access to that perfect peacefulness, that perfect being, that perfect soul.

Hans:

And you know Alfred...I'm addressing Kelly on this, if you look at how much time Kelly you spend trying to understand, how much time you spend trying to create outside of just who you are you'll find that the mind chatter spends an enormous amount of time trying to make you somebody other than who you already are because it's busy saying to you: Yes, but if you just have this many clients, yes, if you just have just do this, if you just get that, you'll be better. But the wonder of life Kelly, for an old soul, is simply learning how to be in the peace provided by your own mind. So when he wrote in and said Alfred: When we get this lesson does any other lesson then matter for an old soul? It comes back to the on-going battle of the lesson of mind chatter trying to defuse your state of peace. And so Kelly you can go along for awhile and say, Oh gee everything's fine now. I think I've got it. But if the mind chatter re-installs itself even after let's say 2, 3 4, weeks, a month, 2 months and it's lurking in the corner and whatever little thing trips it and the old mind chatter starts to come in its job what it wants to do is disengage you from your peace. It wants to tell you you're not quite enough. This could happen, that could happen, something else could happen... So right now the single most important thing for people with self esteem issues is my old nemesis and all of our old nemesis - the mind chatter. I know that in my teaching sometime I sound a bit redundant. But all things harken back to how you view yourself. Not how your mother does, not how your father or your siblings, not your boss, not the other employees but how you view yourself and so when you want to get yourself to a certain point that says: You know what, I don't even need to review this self esteem issue because I've got it. I know I've got it. That's when the mind chatter begins to cease. When you say to Spirit: I believe I have gotten this message. They will begin to pull the lesson. Have you noticed that Alfred? 

Alfred:

They sort of go hand in hand with each other. The more you work on the inner work, the more you work on letting go of mind chatter, the more you let go of all the things we've been talking about then your self esteem improves, then your inner peace improves. But as your inner peace improves and your self esteem improves then it gives you much more incentive to let go of the remaining mind chatter because as you become more peaceful, as you become happier, as you become more settled within yourself the soul that you are then you realize: Oh, it is by letting go of the mind chatter that I can keep this way of being. I can be like this more of the time. So the more you get those glimpses of self esteem, perfect being, perfect peace, then the more power, the more determination...as we were talking about last week "Spiritual Courage" to go after the remaining parts of the mind chatter and let them go and then you have greater self esteem, greater inner peace. So they work hand in hand with each other I think Hans.

Hans:

Oh, I totally agree. Kelly, it's a great lesson for everyone. Especially those old souls who listen to this show and our members we thank each and every one of you for being a member we so appreciate your contribution to making this show possible and we really love all of our listeners who we feel are helped by the questions from others. So Alfred I believe this concludes the lesson for the day.