GUIDANCE FOR YOUR LIFE Radio Show
with Hans Christian King www.HansKing.com
and Alfred Ricci www.AlfredRicci.com
Topic: “Dealing With Anger”
November 9, 2013
Alfred:
Hello everyone and welcome to Guidance For Your Life. Tonight's topic is "Dealing with Anger". This is a real serious topic that we deal with a lot in our classes. But before we get to "Dealing with Anger", we're going to be talking about what's going on in our new base of Asheville, North Carolina. So without further ado, I present to you Hans Christian King.
Hans:
Hello everybody. Welcome to the show. So happy to be back with you after this week has passed. I received quite a few emails from individuals here in the greater western North Carolina area asking us what are we going to be doing here this winter. A few of the things that we will be doing is that we're going to be holding classes on various subjects. There will be classes on Intuitive Development. There will be different classes. Alfred will be holding Automatic Writing Classes and Spirituality and Business Classes. And we will be having, around the area some Open Forums, some "Fireside Chats" in different locations. These will all come to pass probably starting in January, February and March in that area there. And we're really looking forward to your attendance and meeting all our our new people. Alfred, anything to add on this?
Alfred:
So currently it looks like the 2 classes that we have scheduled to be held Live in Asheville, North Carolina as well as over the internet, are "Spirituality and Your Career" that is the first one that we're going to have. That's the last two weeks of February. And then we're going to be holding the next class which will be "Automatic Writing" and Automatic Writing is going to be scheduled for April. For the first 3 weeks of April. Again you can attend the class Live via the internet or you can come and sit with us in Asheville, North Carolina.
Hans:
Isn't that amazing when you come to think about that Alfred? That people can now, if they're not able to attend for whatever reason, they can watch it on the computer. I think, Boy, technology is amazing when you come to think about it.
Alfred:
It is. And that's what we're all about is giving you, no matter where you are, the ability to access Teachings from the Modern Day Mystic Himself, Hans Christian King. For free, for everyone. Anyone anywhere can access these Teachings every week. Each Saturday 1:00pm Eastern time through 880AM. You can listen locally, you can stream over the internet, you can access us if you are International via the Podcast. We're now streaming through iHeart Radio through the U.S. For our overseas people, even Canada unfortunately, also have to get the show through the Podcast. We're doing our best to come up with professional broadcasting but as we get more professional then we start dealing with ....
Hans:
We get more limited.
Alfred:
Yes. Interesting. But still anyone, anywhere, you can listen through the Podcast. You can listen...
Hans:
Let me ask you this question. Can people listen to the Podcast through the same hour as the show is being broadcast?
Alfred:
It's a little bit delayed on the Podcast.
Hans:
A slight delay.
Alfred:
Yes, there's a slight delay.
Hans:
Okay. But they can set it up and definitely hear the show. And through the Podcast, you can actually download us. You can download it, take us with you. So if there happens to be a show that you really like, go to the Podcast through the 880AM page...
Hans:
I had a lady email me that says she takes us everywhere she goes.
Alfred:
Yes. And that's why we say, download us, take us with you, take the MP3 put it on your iPhone, iPad, Android....
Hans:
Whatever you happen to have.
Alfred:
MP3 player...
Hans:
You know folks, that when he talks like that I have no absolutely no idea what he's saying. I actually, as I think I've told you, I still have a flip phone and that's about the extent of my technology. [Hans laughing] You go into Alfred's office and you look there and he has all these computers and wires and Oh, my goodness me...
Alfred:
And I do my best. I know enough about computers and technology to help get Hans' teachings out there as much as I can but if anybody has a better idea, there is a section on hansking.com where we are looking for volunteers. If anybody wants to help us, help Hans, help others.
Hans:
And we actually are looking for some volunteers here in the Asheville, Buncombe County area to help us with some projects that we have. If you have any spare time or you would like to donate your time, please email Alfred@hansking.com and let us hear from you.
Hans:
Tonight's topic is "Dealing with Anger". And anger often comes from the personal perception that something is wrong. Anger is a quiet frustration that says: What I am hoping for, what I am wanting to see happen just isn't working. What can I do about that? And the more frustrated we get the more we feel we've lost control of the outcome of a situation. And anger, in and of itself, is simply a quiet way of someone trying to defend their position. Trying to say: Ouch, that doesn't work for me or I don't like this, this doesn't feel good to me. However, what if you found out, and you will hear me say this throughout these shows, and if you can really hear it and put it in your heart, you will change your life. What if you found out that actually nothing was wrong? Absolutely nothing. And when you find out that nothing is wrong, your mind stops reacting to a negative thought. Alfred, I want to talk to you, if you don't mind, and bring you in here for a minute with this "Dealing with Anger". Being someone whose, can I say, one of their major lessons was learning to deal with anger as a child. What was the process that you began. And remember folks, he doesn't know I'm going to ask these questions otherwise...
Alfred:
No. I can't wait till we can put this on video again..
Hans:
And you can see what we're doing.
Alfred:
And you can see the deer in the headlights of the bald Padawan.
Hans:
So, how did you learn to deal with the anger, early days?
Alfred:
It came from a simple little lesson that we're going to try to emphasize today. Which is: by simply changing your perception, the way that you look at things, you can change so many parts of your life. And for me, dealing with anger was realizing the reason I was angry was because I thought something was wrong. I thought something bad had happened. And it is because of that perception that I thought something was wrong. I perceived that something bad had happened. That perception is what caused me to be angry for well over 25 years. And I'm talking very angry.
Hans:
So Alfred, how does one, and you've learned that lesson and you work on it, it does come up from time to time still does it not? I mean it does for all of us.
Alfred:
Yes.
Hans:
How do you handle that? How do you handle when you've already known what it's about and you know what needs to be done and you get angry anyway and you're trying so hard to be a spiritual being. How do you handle that moment?
Alfred:
Well there's two different levels we're talking about here. First we're introducing the topic that you are angry because you perceive that there is something wrong. And what makes you think you understand what is right or what is wrong? What makes you think you know what lessons you've asked for? What situations did you ask to be presented to you? Since you're an old soul you can pretty much assume that you asked to be presented with difficult lessons.
Hans:
Yes. And all lessons aren't good and happy and loving are they?
Alfred:
No, no. As an old soul you're meant to be presented with challenging lessons. So the first part of the answer is, in general whenever you get angry it's: what makes you think you know what's going on; what makes you think you have the right to have a perception?
Hans:
Yes. And you have to learn folks to live in a place that says, wait a minute I need to sit in this and not allow my mind chatter to run. I need to sit in this and be okay with not knowing. Be okay with not understanding. Because at that point you help to develop an understanding that Spirit and the Godforce love you just as you are in that moment. You are not letting them down because you're not quite getting the lesson. Believe always my friends, that God loves all of it's children equally. Spirit loves us all equally. There are no better, no worse, just equally. It's very hard sometimes to be God-like and love everyone. It's difficult to love everyone if something feels wrong. Is that correct Alfred? For you?
Alfred:
Yes. If you perceive something is wrong, if you perceive that somebody did something wrong then you're actually putting up a wall. You're putting up a barrier. You're not surrendering. You're trying to control. And through basically all aspects of spirituality, it is always stated "surrender". And this is an aspect of surrendering. It is to surrender your perception. To let go of your perception that something is wrong, that somebody did something wrong. Instead we say replace that with compassion. To say no matter what happens, if somebody's having a bad time, if they're just going through something difficult that's your initial perception, say let me just have compassion for that person, let me just love that person.
Hans:
What about in the moment of anger and frustration and doubt. What about changing yourself to a point where you say: you know what, I'm going to have compassion for myself. I'm going to use this moment of frustration and anger and doubt and stop and say, wait a minute, wait a minute. Why am I doing this to myself? I don't want these thoughts in my head. I don't want this anger and frustration to be part of my dharma. So having a moment to the self and saying, I love you just the way you are. Who you are is good enough for me. And say that to yourself about yourself. You know Alfred, both our past and current thoughts do cause anger.
Alfred:
Yes. And that when we, and pretty much every other spiritual seeker and teacher says: go within, go do your internal spiritual work. Well what is that internal spiritual work? That's digging through your past and looking to find thoughts and perceptions that are causing you to be angry.
Hans:
Anger may come oftentimes from our past when in earlier form, and earlier childhood, when we sort of formed judgments about others we were given judgments about what is right and what is wrong. But when you look at a little baby for instance, you have no perception in your head that anything's wrong with that child do you?
Alfred:
And a lot of these teachings are very quick summaries and highlights of what we go over in great detail in the Intuitive Development Class. Which basically says, it is mind chatter. It is these thoughts, these perceptions, our perception of trauma, something is wrong that separates us from the natural flow, that separates us from the guidance that is with us always. It is not the question of being intuitive. We all are intuitive.
Hans:
Absolutely.
Alfred:
It's have you gone through and done your inner work that is separating you from your bliss, your happiness, your joy? Have you released the things that are causing you to be angry? And we're doing our best to give you those highlights tonight in this lesson.
Hans:
You know Alfred, we have a saying that we bring up during our radio shows during our teachings that are really important for people to hear. Let's say that for whatever reason there was a phone call from this person, or a letter from that person, what if, just what if, you could just say to yourself, this is not my problem. Isn't that an interesting concept Alfred? This is not my problem. And if you can hear that and say, why am I spending so much time fussing and worrying about this issue when it's not my problem?
Alfred:
It seems to lead back to what Mahatma Gandhi said, which is "Be the change that you wish to see in the world". That if you perceive that there is an issue outside of yourself, go within and release the perception that there is an issue. Cleanse yourself of the issue. Go within and find and release whatever perception, perceived trauma that you seem to have, that you're seeming to hold onto. Because when you do, when you let go of these, and again within the Intuitive Development Course we have hours and hours and hours of various ways to go through all of this... All of a sudden you find one less issue to be angry about. You find more space in your life to be peaceful and joyous.
Hans:
Going within during an anger attack and asking yourself, wait a minute, is this really about what just happened or is there a cumulative effect here? Is this part of an ongoing situation when this type of thing comes up? For many, many people some issues don't ever seem to get resolved. And you often ask yourself, why doesn't this get resolved? What is it that causes me to suffer on this issue? And maybe for many people the lesson is simply, what makes you think anything is wrong? Check your mind chatter. Ask yourself, am I really angry with this situation now or am I angry because it reminds me of situations that look like this from before? Ask yourself: Do I need to allow this situation to disturb my ease? Am I allowing myself to feel terrible about something that actually happened a long time ago? There's an old saying: “Stop trying to fit a square peg in a round hole". And sometimes we spend our whole life on a certain issue trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. And when we do that, we have this quiet determination, that by golly I know that this square peg will fit in this round hole and no one's going to tell me it won't and I'm going to keep hammering away. And no matter what anyone says to you, you know that won't work, you get angry with them.
Alfred:
And here's the funny part, how about letting go of the peg?
Hans:
Yes. Just let it go because it's irrelevant whether or not the square peg fits in the round hole. That's what you don't know. It's irrelevant. It makes absolutely no difference whatsoever. It's your perception that made that up.
Alfred:
It's your perception that says, that peg is important.
Hans:
Yes. And it isn't.
Alfred:
And what we're trying to say is that by changing your mind, changing the way you view whatever it is, we'll say this particular peg, how about just putting the peg down and saying I don't wish to carry this peg around with me anymore.
Hans:
Because you're actually doing with the peg is pounding it into your own head. You see what I'm saying folks? You're actually causing yourself stress. You're causing yourself pain because you're going to prove a fact. Let it go. All pain is caused by a perception. In one form or another. But I go back to what we were talking about earlier, when you're stuck in something, you're just really stuck in it and you're working it in and it's not working the way you want it to work, stop for a moment and say: What in the world do I think I'm doing? Why am I making myself so crazy over this issue? This issue is nothing more than an issue. It's how I look at the issue that makes it important. Just learning to be, in the moment with no expectations, no trying to make things work, things will work out the way things are supposed to work out if you leave it alone. That's the key. And learning to have compassion for yourself saying: I deserve better than what I'm giving myself. Someone's idea of you, is none of your concern. Your boss, your mom, your dad, your friends, none of your concern. It has nothing to do with you. That's their perception. It has nothing to do with you, again I say. But what you think and how you feel about what they say, that can really, really, really harm you. That can really hurt you when you start to have a perception of trying to please other people. When you have a perception of trying desperately to fit into a situation, let it go, let it be. And if there's love in it, if there's light in it, it will resolve itself. Alfred, any more on this subject you would that you would like to talk about?
Alfred:
The trick that I found, this is shall we say a little more advanced answer to what Hans originally asked is how I dealt with my past, is to understand that which you hold sacred, you may not need to hold sacred. For example, those of us who had difficult childhoods may be trying to understand, trying to justify, trying to seek vengeance, trying to correct, trying to fit in where you call yourself an abused child. Well how about the concept of: there's nothing wrong. How about just letting go of the tons of things that were wrong? Yes, they were difficult but was there anything really wrong? Is it really necessary to be an abused child or can you let it go and say, Huh, what didn't kill me made me stronger.
Hans:
And what did I learn from this?
Alfred:
And what did I learn from this?
Hans:
And you know Alfred, it's very true, very compassionate on your part. One thing I think we need to understand that as a child we wouldn't know about any of this. So our perception would be that we're being mistreated and something is wrong. But when you reach a certain age and have a little spiritual wisdom about you, I believe you can come in then to heal these past problems.
Alfred:
Correct. And for those of you who are seekers, who are trying to find answers - why did these things happen to me, what am I having such a difficult life? The answer to you is there's no reason to figure it out because what is of value is how you deal with things. Not how those things happened to you. It's are you compassionate? Did you let go of things? Did you deal with things in a loving way? Or are you holding onto things, continually every single day, month, year, year after year, 20 maybe 30 years later trying to bash that round peg into a square hole and saying I'm going to figure out why this happened.
Hans:
By golly.
Alfred:
I did that for 25 years of trying to figure out my childhood. And finally I just said: Huh, that was interesting.
Hans:
Your childhood, as most of us now realize, was planned by you in the first place.
Alfred:
Yes, and that's what we're trying to say. Is there's a really good reason you don't remember your path in life. You don't remember why you were born. You don't remember the lessons and the obstacles you asked to be presented to you. And quite simply the answer is, what's the purpose of taking the test if you know the answers? The question is that character growth comes from how you deal with those situations. If you overcame the situation and that's what we're trying to tell you to do here, is not hold onto, but to overcome, to learn the lesson of, and to let go of perceptions. Your perceived perception to say, you know what? Maybe I really don't understand. Maybe I don't remember. Maybe you weren't supposed to.
Hans:
Alfred, remember when you were really upset about something and I looked at you, and we were in a meeting, and I said well Alfred...and you felt you had legitimate causes to be upset about this issue and my Guidance said to me, tell Alfred this. And they said: Alfred what if you found out that there is nothing wrong on this issue"? Remember how you felt then?
Alfred:
Yes. And that's it. You have two choices. You can choose to continue to hold onto that which is sacred, that which formed you, which made you who you are, which caused you to be an abused child or an abused person. Or, you can just say: Hmm, maybe there is nothing wrong. Maybe my perception is just not full formed. Maybe I just don't understand everything. Maybe I can just let it go. And that's where the character growth comes from. That's where soul growth comes from.
Hans:
So Alfred, on this particular subject, I would like to leave the subject with this thought. In Dr. James Allen's wonderful book, As A Man Thinketh, he says: “It's important to remember that they themselves are makers of themselves”. And what we are trying to teach you is that you can make a choice. You can make a choice to be angry, or you can make a choice to not be angry.
Alfred:
You can make a choice that whatever has happened to you forms who you are or, to have you form who you are. Believe it or not, it is a choice.
Hans:
And because the greatest gift I think that God gives us, is free will. When we have free will we can make a choice. Remember that when you're really angry about something, there's a perceived loss somewhere, there's a perceived something was done to you somewhere. What if you stopped for just a moment and you say wait a minute here, that's my old me. Wait a minute here, I'm not going to fall victim to this again, I'm letting this go. What somebody said, what somebody thinks, the appearance of whatever loss it is, what we can say is: I choose not to go there again. I choose to have compassion for myself. Compassion for my lessons. I am the greatest person I have ever, and/or will ever know and my God doesn't love anyone more than me". Alright Alfred, I think that concludes the lesson for day.
No comments:
Post a Comment